I went to an old fashioned surprise party on Saturday, and met an amazing lady called Emily. She was really interesting, and I learnt so much from her. We were discussing the concept that to hear a client you need to listen – it sounds simple and logical – she told me that she spent many hours training consultants how to listen.
To clearly understand what the client needs, I may ask them the question from several different angles. I then listen to what they say, and repeat it back to them. I do this to clearly understand what the client wants so I can deliver it; it is pointless and all too easy to give the client ‘what I want to deliver’.
I have frequently found the most insightful moments come through the pregnant pauses; I will purposely drink some water, or count to ten in my mind to allow the client space to talk.
Communication is about listening, and as consultant at ANISE Consultant, we endeavour to listen to what you want.
Here is a copy of an article from the plain language network that raises a lot of valid point;
Communications: Are You Listening?
by Cheryl Stephens
The Canadian Bar Association Task Force on Legal Literacy recommended that lawyers take training in listening skills. This article was written to encourage that. It first appeared in Briefly! published for the legal profession by ASAP Printing Centre, Vancouver, B.C.
According to public surveys across Canada and the U.S., clients are dissatisfied and frustrated by lawyers’ communication efforts.
Lawyers respond to these surveys by telling the bar associations to do something to improve the image of lawyers. It might be more effective to work on lawyers’ communications skills. In coming issues, this column will do that by offering practical advice on interpersonal communications.
Let’s start with listening.
The Canadian Bar Association’s Task Force on Legal Literacy identified improving lawyers’ listening skills as an important step toward improving the delivery of legal services to clients with literacy challenges. The average person spends at least 55% of the day listening. Why not do it more efficiently?
Are you a good listener?
Listening takes courage: you risk having your ideas challenged or changed. The self-righteous do not listen to others.
Don’t prejudge people.
Don’t tell yourself “This is just another one of those boring, routine interviews. I can do this in my sleep.” Pay attention to your client’s needs, not your own preoccupations.
Do you like to hear yourself talk?
Limit your own talk and you’ll hear more from your client. A lack of self-confidence may cause you to jump in to fill the silences. You may need to get comfortable with natural conversational pauses.
Watch how words are spoken.
Focus on your client’s words, but consider the rate of speech, tone of voice, and volume. Ask questions like: “Why are you frowning?” “Is there something about this that especially annoys you?”
Concentrate on what is being said.
Ignore the “trigger words” that usually set you off. Getting annoyed disrupts your concentration. Your client may thoughtlessly use words you find offensive. Ignore it.
Listen for the major points and make note of those.
Use feedback to confirm that you understand. Try paraphrasing: “Now, as I understand, the point of all this is…” “What I hear you saying is…”
Give your client some leeway.
If you rigidly adhere to an interview questionnaire, you may miss some important hints from your client. Not all clients think in the linear terms you learned in law school. Valuable supporting evidence often arises from an anecdote that you might suppress or even tune out.
Show that you are listening.
Watch your body language — don’t fidget or fiddle. Lounging with your feet on the desk shouts disrespect to the client. Maintain an alert body posture and eye contact. Smile. Nod. Make use of those natural, paralanguage, responses, like hum and ah. These suggest to the client you are not daydreaming about a vacation in Fiji.
Minimize activities that will distract you.
Stop all in-coming phone calls. Close your door. Don’t let your assistant pop in and out to have things signed. While you may have become immune to these distractions, your clients have not.
Many people will take offence at these interruptions. Such interruptions may cause your client to stop listening. Or refuse to open up and share information. The fact that clients aren’t as important as the interruptions may help them decide not to come back to your firm next time they need a lawyer.
Take a break.
In a long, intense interview, take frequent breaks to relieve the tension. Otherwise your or your client’s concentration will falter. These breaks can be informal — ask if the client wants a refill of coffee and make a production of it. Get up to adjust the window blinds.
Counter brain lag.
Remember while most of us speak at a rate of 125 words a minute, we listen and process words at 375 to 500 words a minute. We have to learn to fill the gap so our minds don’t wander. Making a greater effort to listen effectively just might be what it takes.